March 2, 2017
The only way to overcome difficult situations is to face them. The hardest thing I’ve ever faced was identifying your body in Longview, Texas only hours after hearing the news. I know you don’t want a lecture right now; you always got annoyed at my lectures to you. 😉 There is no escaping the trauma from that visual; all you can do is keep breathing. Something overcame me, though, before I drove out to see you. “I will face this; my mother deserves the decency and my sisters deserve the strength,” I told myself with sheer grit. Thank God I had Sierra to do it with me.
I also faced it with chutzpah because I wanted to set an example for Randy’s children on what to do when greeted with difficulty: look it in the eye and meet it head on. Hell, even give it a wink and a smile. You would have done that. You always were a good jokester, goofy as heck. I’m glad I got that from you. After dealing with that and handling your funeral arrangements, which your parents so graciously covered (they really did love you, Mom), I now know I can handle anything life throws my way. Thanks for initiating that discovery.
I’m happy I got to see you one last time and honor you by coming to your “bedside.” I was there until the very end for you Momma, which brings me great peace. As traumatic as it was to see you in a coffin so young and unexpectedly, you never looked more peaceful. That’s when I knew we could all move on. I’m so happy I got to see you at peace at least once in my lifetime, what a gift, an unburied treasure. For that I will always be grateful.
Oh! And seriously since you’ve passed, I see ladybugs greet me everywhere. It’s the wackiest thing. Even Keller is like, “Aunt Cookie, you always have lady bugs on you.” Lady bugs are a symbol of joy, and every time I see one, I know it’s you.
I love you Mom,