Passion Project: Letters to my Mother Day 18

March 18, 2017

Dear Mom,

Shabbat Shalom! I’m so in love! With LIFE!! Saturday I typically rest, however, today was especially productive. Cleaned our condo downtown for guests, went to Bikram yoga, washed my car, got a mani-pedi, grocery shopped, then hosted dinner for a few friends and fam in our new kitchen. In my imagination, you are at the table sharing in the contagious laughter and stories, passing mashed potatoes and gravy to your left. Your hair is red and slightly long, and you look super stylish (don’t worry). It makes me smile to imagine you there, imagine how things might have been. I’ve always been a visionary, and now my vision has come to life in creating the family I always wanted.

As people went around the dinner table sharing stories, as we all connected, as we all bantered and shared in laughter, I took a moment to look around at each person at the dinner and thank them in my heart for being there, savoring their presence. I’m happiest hosting small intimate dinner parties; the entertainer, entertaining! Only it’s not about me, it’s about everyone there in that moment. I picture the earthy dirt and rock our house stands on smiling at our enjoyment. There’s nothing more that I love than having family and friends at our lake home, sharing a home-cooked meal, and celebrating our lives with a beautiful cabernet. Sierra usually prepares everything I shop for; she’s an amazing artist of a chef! I make the Ceasar, and I’m honored she loves the recipe I made up.

Mom, my dinner party story may not rev your fire; you may be thinking, “It’s only good food, good wine, and good people, what’s the big deal?” Because I don’t think you ever had dinner parties. For me, people are everything, and getting them together to connect and enjoy life is what life’s all about. In my book, nothing connects people more than food, wine, and stories. That’s what I love about Judaism, actually; it has a similar philosophy and love for the human spirit. In those moments of connection, there’s electricity, something very alive; I call that God. Yep, God, right there in the middle of my dinner party sharing with us, saying, “Yes! Yes! You get it. Connect. Love. Laugh. Smile. Be Merry. Be Free. Be.”

I’m so happy I’ve been writing you because I feel like I’m able to share with you who I am for the first time through these letters, and I feel seen by you. I never felt seen or heard by you when you were alive, but now I finally do, and it feels invigorating. I also see you, smiling, at peace; I have new visions of you in my mind. Thank you for sending them from the beautiful place you now are.

Love,

Tina Tina

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